100 Days to Summer Challenge- Week 2 review and Week 3 preview

As always first things first:
Starting: 219.6
Week 1: 218
Week 2: 216.6

Woot! Sure I would love to be knocking out 2 lbs a week but about 1.5 pounds a week is what is working for me right now and I'm happy with it.  (If anybody tells me I'm gaining muscle- I will come though the screen and beat you with my arm flab. No chance I am gaining muscle as quickly as I should be dropping fat.)

Nutrition:  5 pts
Pretty easy for me this week. I have always had a high fiber diet. I'm making my husband eat more fiber and we are all paying for it, but he'll be healthier in the long run. DH did plan a meal and it was technically healthy. It was completely uninspired but it counts. Baked fish and corn. I think he does that kind of thing so that I will think he is incapable of planning a decent meal and I will continue to have to plan every. single. mother trucking. meal for the rest of my life. But I digress.

Strength: 5 pts
That was a whole lot of crunchin'. But I did a million crunches and I rocked 'em all.

Cardio: 5 pts
Once again, I was doing videos at 9:00 last night but I got it all done. I don't like jumping. My vertical leap is miniscule and I literally cannot jump on 1 foot. These videos that require even minimal coordination are challenging for me. That's why I like running. Simple movements. I counted toddler chasing and wrangling as part of my 30 minutes of play since the toddler seems to think it is a game and laughs hysterically. I think I got 2,000 minutes of that in this week.

Balance: 4 pts
Same old story. Just can't seem to get the meditation done. I put it off until I have time to focus on it and then forget. I'm making it a priority this week.

Total Warrior pts: 19
Suck on that! Yeah!

Week 3
Wk 3 looks to be more of the same as far strength and cardio go (Seriously, I can't tell you how many times I have to retype strength before I get it spelled right, every single time. It's just one of those words for me.) Strength is focusing on upper body, which is great. My shoulders are beyond weak. They always have been.

I'm really excited about the nutrition challenge this week. Having to track every bite is exactly what I need. I am such a nibbler. A Triscuit here. A veggie stick there. Hopefully, the prospect of having to track it will keep me from those little nibbles.

In sum, bring it Snitches!

100 Days to Summer- Week 1

First things first. At this mornings weigh-in, I was 218. That's a 1.6 lb loss this week. Pretty good but for several days last week I was below 218, I know all about fluctuations and water and that stuff but you always wish you could be at your lowest on "official" weigh-in day. But I'm happy. A loss is a loss. I'll work harder this week. I know a few areas in my eating that need to be tightened up.

Cardio- 5 points.
It came down to the 11th hour. I was dancing and doing the kickboxing video at 9:00 last night, but I got it all done. May I just say, I HATE the jumping video. I have a 2 mm vertical leap. Getting the miles in wasn't a problem and I did jumping jacks in my office during lunch. I really liked having this plan to get some extra cardio in, I need it.

Strength- 5 points
Honestly, this was easy peasy. I did the squats throughout the day at work and knocked out the other tasks in a single evening. Looks like things have been taken up a notch for week 2 which is awesomesauce, because I really need some toning.

Nutrition- 5 points
Another one that was pretty easy. I've said before, I have a healthy baseline diet I just have a bad habit of binging on crap on top of the healthy diet. None of the tasks were about restriction so I had no problems. I know a lot of people have trouble with the fiber. Here are some of my fave ways to get fiber.
Kashi Cinnamon Harvest Cereal
Lentil Soup
Triscuits
Morningstar Farms Black Bean Burgers
Raisins
Legumes, legumes, legumes!

Balance- 3
Ummm, not so great. I just didn't get the meditating done. I would forget or my mind would be too busy to even attempt a try. I will try again this week. This one should have been 4 points but I couldn't think of an action until after I had submitted my points and realized that night weaning my baby last week was a huge action towards my well-being. Now I will get some sleep!!! Oh well.

Monday Weigh-in
Last week: 220.2
Today: 218

That means I've met my first goal.



230 starting weight-1/12/11
220- 10 lbs- Jump start-3/14/11
209- 21 lbs- no longer obese
200- 30 lbs -prebaby weight
174- 56 lbs- no longer fat
160- 70 lbs-Healthy weight




Week 2 looks like it will be pretty similar to week one as far time goes. Scheduling this stuff out is key for me.

100 Days

100 days until summer. That's a lot of time to make some progress. That's what the Rants From Mommyland 100 days to summer challenge is all about. It starts tomorrow. I'm on the warrior team which means I am combining challenges from 4 disciplines: Cardio, strength, nutrition and well-being. I will also be "winning" at bad-a$$ness along the way. If you want to learn more about the challenge, check out the Rants team page.

My starting stats:


Weight: 220.2
Neck: 14.25
Chest: 40.25
Abs: 36.5
Waist: 37.5
Hips: 48.5
Left Bicep: 14
Right Bicep: 14
Left Thigh: 25.5
Right Thigh: 25
Left Calf: 16.5
Right Calf: 17




I'm hoping to end the challenge under 200 with about 5 inches off my waist. I won't be bikini ready but I would be able to skip the beach mumu. Along the way I'll be fitting in a couple of 5Ks.

Friday Weigh-in

Start- 230
Last week- 222.2
Today- 220.6

Not as big a loss as last week. I was hoping to get below 220 this week but I honestly didn't put in the work needed. I did good on working out but I went over my calorie goals too many days and on the other days I hit the top end of the range instead of the bottom.

I've been stuck at home with a sick toddler the last few days and I found myself just picking and picking, a nibble here, a nibble there. I have to tighten that up.

Hopefully, next week I'll be in the teens. I'm counting on the first week of the RFML 100 days challenge to help me out. I'm gunning for Ultimate Warrior.

Short and sweet tonight. I'm exhausted.

1 Month

1 month ago today, February 9, 2011, began this journey. I joined SparkPeople on January 12, inspired by the lovely Lydia at Rants from Mommyland. I had been "trying" to lose weight since last winter after my daughter was born. By trying, I mean wanting. I just couldn't get it together during that first year of motherhood though.

But on February 9, something clicked. I'm not sure what happened. I don't know what was different about that day than January 18 or February 2 or any of the days for the last year. I think it all comes down to just being ready. You really have to be ready to embark on a project like this. I was tooling around on SparkPeople and read a little about the Sparkdiet that said in the beginning to worry more about tracking food and less about calorie ranges. I decided that I could do that. I could track my food if I didn't have to worry so much about calories right then, I just wanted to get my binging under control.

I also decided to start trying to make the 8 glasses of water goal. I don't traditionally love water but I gave it a try. After a few days of tracking everything and drinking water, I was in like Flynn, baby. I was ready to count calories and start the C25K program. Once I went on that first run, I was revived - it felt so good to run again.

A month later, I am down 9 lbs as of this morning and finishing up W4 of the C25K. I've also been working in a little 30 Day Shred and been very amazed at how much progress I have seen on that. (Here is where I fight the urge to downplay and say that "well, it's easy to see progress when you are starting from such a low point).

The self-flagellating part of me wants to beat myself up for not getting going earlier. But I wasn't ready. There are many people who are ready earlier in motherhood, but I wasn't. Dealing with working full-time while trying to be a good mom took all of my focus.

The other negative part of me wonders if I'll be here to write a 2 month post. Like so many here, I've started and stopped many times in my struggles with weight. The answer: I don't know. All I know is I am here today and I'm pretty sure I'll be here tomorrow. There are a lot of things coming up that I need to be here for, The Virtual 5K, the RFML 100 days challenge (Bring it, Snitches!!!) and just continuing to get know some of my new friends. I love watching other peoples' progress as much as my own.

So that's where I am today. Here's where I'll be tomorrow. One day at time. One pound at a time.

Friday Weigh-in

Last weeks weight: 225.3
Today's weight: 222.2

I'm not surprised. I totally rocked it on eating this week. 3 lbs is quite a big loss but a) it is the beginning of the diet when weight tends to come off easier, b) being over 200 lbs burns a lot of calories. It's pretty easy to create a deficit. Easy in the physical sense, - independent of emotional eating and all that jazz.

I would love to see a similar number next week and get below 220, but I try not to set too specific deadlines for pounds lost. I know all too well that you can work out and eat right but if your body only wants to give up half a pound, that's all your getting.

I'm feeling great and feeling motivated, taking it one day at a time. Keeping my eye on my smaller goals rather than the big picture.

The first day of the rest of my life

March 1st. The beginning of my first full calendar month of this endeavor. I want to have a record of my progress. I love tracking and measuring. I get a little obsessive over Excel spreadsheets. I have one for everything including weight loss. It's only slightly less elaborate than my spreadsheet for cloth diapering.



Anywho... this is yet another way for me to track and measure.

As of March 1, 2011
Weight: 224.2 (BMI= 32.17)
Waist: 38
Most recent run: 1.5 miles in 21.5 minutes (C25K Week 3)



The picture quality is bad. My phone takes craptastic photos. And yes, that is the bathroom stall at work. Sometimes it is the only place I can have a moment of privacy.

Here's hoping for noticeable improvement on April 1!

Marching Forward

On this the last day of February, I am looking forward to starting a new month and setting some goals for the month.

1. Complete C25K team March Challenge
a) Run 3x per week
b) Keep in calorie range all 31 days (HUGE!!! Challenge for me)
c) Reduce waist circumference

2. Limit refined and white carbs to one meal per day 5x per week

3. Start working in some strength and yoga 2x week (I've been doing the Shred a couple of days a week but I feel like I need something more focused and less Jillian)

I think that is enough for the month. Probably more than enough but I'm going to try. I'm not setting a weight loss goal because I don't want focus too much on that. I'm really focused right now on regaining my running form and ability and losing weight as a mean to that end.

Feeling someone else's age.

When I used to exercise a lot, the one thing that never went away was being sore and tight in the mornings when I got out of bed. Then I got pregnant and stopped exercising but getting out of bed was still an ordeal for other reasons. Then I had the baby and didn't exercise and getting out bed stopped hurting.

I didn't realize that until this morning. After 2 runs and some weights this weekend, I felt it when I got up this morning. My calves were so tight as I hobbled to the nursery, I must have looke like Franstein to my daughter as I hobbled in. It bought it all back and reminded me of the one downside to running. Luckily it's not enough to stop me. In fact I kind of like it, in a sick way.

My pain was enhanced by the fact that on Saturday as I was walking into Target, carrying my daughter I tripped over a curb and fell. Since I was holding the baby I could reach out to brace or slow myself down and I turned to protect her so the left side of my body took the brunt of the fall. I was uninjured minus a few scraps and a major blow to my pride and the baby was completely unscathed, but I am a bit sore from the event.

So I started out this morning feeling 48 rather than 38 but rather than deter me, it just makes me want to get in better shape.

I'm a runner again.

So I have mentioned before that I used to run a lot. Back before I got fat there were, 5Ks, 10Ks, 10 milers, 1/2 marathons and even a marathon. But the sloth I have slipped into over the last few years has be starting back at the beginning. I'm doing the C25K program. I was afraid to try anything more ambitious. I was afraid that at my weight I wouldn't be able to even jog.

But you know what? It's been easy. The first two weeks have really been easy for me. I haven't worked up much of a sweat. I haven't been dying at the end of the running portions. I haven't been too out of breath when I'm done. I don't think this is because I am secretly fit under all my fat. It is just a great example of how much of running is mental. Yes, there is obviously a large physical aspect to it to, but for the most part putting one foot in front of the other over and over again is mental.

I broke through those mental hurdles years ago when I first started running. Back when the idea of running for 30 straight minutes was almost unthinkable. I crushed those mental hurdles when I got to mile 20 and still had to keep going for 6 more miles. One step at a time.
So now when I'm running despite being technically obese, I look at the training program and see 90 seconds and know that I can do that. I have done that.

Getting back into regular running has invigorated me. I hadn't realized how much I've missed it. I can't wait for spring and to have less pressure on my knees and the great runs that will bring. I've been bummed because the C25K program only call for 3 runs a week. It was only yesterday that it dawned on me that, d'uh, I can run as often as I want. The program is just a sheet of paper, not a law. Of course, after that revelation and looking forward to running tonight, we are expecting 50-60 mile per hour winds all evening and a run will have to wait until tomorrow (I only run outdoors. Treadmills bore me to tears.)

I pulled out my old running clothes and put them where I can see them often. They are my motivators. When I look at them I want to go run and run and run. I want to fit in them again. I WILL fit in them again!

At least I've never stolen food.

Are You A Food Addict? Food Addicts In Recovery

1 Have you ever wanted to stop eating and found you just couldn't? YES
2 Do you think about food or your weight constantly? YES
3 Do you find yourself attempting one diet or food plan after another, with no lasting success? YES
4 Do you binge and then "get rid of the binge" through vomiting, exercise, laxatives, or other forms of purging? NO
5 Do you eat differently in private than you do in front of other people? ABSOLUTELY
6 Has a doctor or family member ever approached you with concern about your eating habits or weight? NO, See number 5
7 Do you eat large quantities of food at one time (binge)? YES
8 Is your weight problem due to your "nibbling" all day long? NO
9 Do you eat to escape from your feelings? YES
10 Do you eat when you're not hungry? YES
11 Have you ever discarded food, only to retrieve and eat it later? YES (shame)
12 Do you eat in secret? ABSOLUTELY
13 Do you fast or severely restrict your food intake? NO
14 Have you ever stolen other people's food? NO (Thank god, I can at least say no to this)
15 Have you ever hidden food to make sure you have "enough?" NO
16 Do you feel driven to exercise excessively to control your weight? NO
17 Do you obsessively calculate the calories you've burned against the calories you've eaten? I have been known to do that.
18 Do you frequently feel guilty or ashamed about what you've eaten? ALWAYS
19 Are you waiting for your life to begin "when you lose the weight?" NO
20 Do you feel hopeless about your relationship with food? SOMETIMES

If you answered yes to any of the above questions, then you may be a food addict.

Well.

There you have it.

There is no surprise here. I've been spiraling out of control food and weight wise. With most of the other areas of my life going well, it's been easy to push this fact to the back burner. Something that I can deal with when I have time to focus on it.  But really? I have time to stuff my face full of pumpkin Pop Tarts, I can't find time to think about why I'm eating garbage in vast quantities?

It's more than food "issues." Food has control over my life. Even when I was thin, I thought about food constantly. If there is a slice of pizza in the room, I can't think of anything else. Is someone gonna eat that? Can I eat it? Will I be judged if I eat it? God, I want that! If I don't get that piece, I'm gonna order a pizza when I get home. Screw that, even if I get that piece, the seed has been planted and I'm gonna order a pizza when I get home. And eat it until I burst.

It's like that. Food is an obsession. I think about it all the time.

I don't really know what I'm going to do about it right now. I know that it's time for me to address my food addiction, rather than just temporarily replacing it with a dieting addiction. Going on a diet won't cure this. I'm so out of control right now that I can't even make it until mid-morning on a diet. I haven't stepped on a scale in months but I have no doubt that I have gained back all that I lost in the spring.

Clearly, my eating is out of control because of all the changes my life has gone through over the last two years. I went from being single, childless and living alone to being a wife, mother and stepmother. I love my new life but it is stressful. I started gaining, after maintaining for 6 years, right after I got married. I don't think that is a coincidence. I feel bad saying that though. I feel like I am betraying my husband and blaming him for my predicament.

I love him and I am happy every single day that I married him, but I don't have the same control over my life that I did before. I can't do whatever, whenever and I think that loss of control is spilling out into other areas.

Right now, I'm just going to be researching Food Addiction and trying to determine my next step. I'm not great at seeking help from others so I doubt I'll be showing up at an Overeaters Anonymous meeting anytime soon. Maybe in the future. I just don't know, right now.

Fat Tuesday

I haven't posted much about my weight loss efforts lately. There's a reason for that. I haven't really lost any in a long time. I fell off the wagon and haven't been able to get my fat ass back up onto it yet. Seriously, have you ever tried to crawl onto a wagon when you are obese? It ain't easy.

I keep trying to figure out a fixable reason for why I am not succeeding. Breastfeeding, lack of planning, whatever, but the fact is I am stress eater. I am stressed and I don't know how to change that. I'm not stressed out by motherhood but I am stressed out by being a working mother. I just don't have time for anything!

Here's a typical workday.

5:30 wake-up
5:30-7:00- get ready, get Caroline ready, get bottles, her lunch, my lunch, pumping supplies, coffee- ready.
7:00-7:20- playtime with Caroline
7:30- Drop off baby at daycare and start commute.
8:30-9:00- arrive at work sometime in this window. Usually.
Work straight through without lunch break so that I can leave at
4:15- Start commute home.
5:15-5:30- Arrive home
5:30-7:00- Play with baby, feed baby, bathe baby, help with dinner prep, eat dinner as family, put baby to bed.
7:00- 9:00- This is my "free" time. I can: clean, do laundry, exercise, spend time with my husband, watch tv, or one of the other 200 things I need/want to do with the few hours I have a day. Most nights I have to choose cleaning just to keep my house from being condemned.

I want to fit exercise in there but when you combine, exhaustion, a million other need-to-do's and early darkness it just doesn't fit in too often.

Clearly, I need a job closer to home but in this economy, in my field that is a challenge. Especially when I have to fit my job search into those 2 short hours at night.

It's not an excuse. I'm not complaining. It just is. I have never been happier or more exhausted. The stupid irony of it all is that if wasn't so fat, I would probably have the energy to lose weight.

I'm going to keep trying though. I can't give up. Today has been a good day so far and I'll keep going one meal at a time.

"That's Mommy's Thin Mint"

Here's what I don't understand. I would lay down my life for my daughter in a second, so why can't I lay down the cookie?<br /><br />As you might have gathered things aren't going great on the diet front. I mean they are horrible but I'm kind of at a stand still and have gained a little. I have been on a sweets bender for about 2 weeks now. I can't fight the sugar cravings.<br /><br />But I want to. I need to. I read another article just this morning, <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/38600414/ns/health-kids_and_parenting/">discussing that increased obesity in children may be causing them to start puberty earlier, as early as SEVEN YEARS OLD!!!</a> That is crazy. We're doing everything we can to keep exogenous hormones out of her system, hormone free and organic foods, bottled water, etc but preventing her from becoming obese is solely my responsibility. I don't mean that my husband can just wash his hands of it, but nothing will influence her eating habits more than my eating habits. <br /><br />On that note, I'm going to try to eat as though I was sharing my food with Caroline at every meal. In a way I am still she is still nursing, but I wonder if I would be so quick to eat those cookies if I had to feed her half of them.<img src="http://theblogbooster.com/pixel.gif" width="0" height="0" style="border-top-style: none; border-right-style: none; border-bottom-style: none; border-left-style: none; border-width: initial; border-color: initial; " alt="" />

Chip, chip, chip

I am chipping away at the weight. It seems painfully slow. It is painfully slow. I'm overwhelmed when I think of the big picture and how far I have to go. I'm keeping my eye on the small prize. Right now that is a BMI of less than 30. That will be in 9.2 pounds.

12 days into my commitment to do some form of exercise everyday for 30 days, I have missed two days. One day it was raining and I just didn't have the energy to do anything. The other day I might have accidentally fallen asleep at 8:00 right after the baby went down and not have gotten up until the next morning.

Start: 234
Jumpstart Goal 10 lbs -224
Current -15.8  218.2
Just Fat (BMI < 30): 209
Pre-pregnancy: 200
Decent: 185
Pre-wedding: 175
Comfortable: 165
PHAT!: 155


Chip, chip, chip

Full Disclosure on the Fat

m feeling brave today. Maybe I'm inspired by all the McFatty Monday posts. But anyway, I'm going to do something I have never, NEVER, done before. Not even when I was skinny done before. Not even to my husband (please don't let him ever find this). OK. Deep breaths. I can do this. I weigh...

::breathe::

::breathe::

234 pounds.

Oh My God!!!! I am officially obese. If that isn't bad enough, that means I gained 30 pounds of non-baby related weight during my pregnancy. I am horrified. What's even worse is that when I got married 17 months ago, I weighed 175 (I'm 5'10" so I can carry a little more). That is an average of 3 pounds a month that I gained. I am taking up way more than my fair share of space on this planet.

I've known how much I weighed for a while now. I mean all those weigh ins at the doc during pregnancy didn't convince me I was going to have a 45 lb baby. But it didn't really seem like "real" weight. It's water. It'll melt away with breastfeeding. Once you get moving a little bit, it'll start falling off. Well none of those things seem to be true. I've posted before about my lack of success with the breastfeeding weight loss plan.

I have to face facts and do what no woman wants to do...DIET! I can't go for my normal all or nothing method though as I am nursing and need to keep my milk supply, so I am trying to stick to a 2,000 calorie a day plan. Honestly, just being aware of the snacking I was doing to ease the pain of being away from my baby all day is helping. I know that what I really want isn't M&Ms and I let myself just miss her.

Exercise is hard. I don't have much time for it but I'm trying to take C on as many walks as I can and doing a little walk/running on the weekends. I plan to run in a half marathon in October. I'm not new to half-marathons or even whole marathons, before I got married to Mr. C I was in great shape. We got married, lazy and pregnant. The half is 6 months away, I'm not fooling myself into thinking I can be at my fighting weight by then. I am just hoping to be a my pre-pregnancy weight of 199. I'll be slow and in pain but it gives me something to shoot for. Now if I can just find an extra hour everyday to exercise.

--
YaraC

A real Mom Jeans issue

I’d like to talk about a weighty issue…ba dum dum, my big, fat, ass. This is the one area where mommyhood has kicked my aforementioned ass. I have dropped 20 lbs of my baby weight. Too bad I gained 40.

I can’t blame the situation entirely on pregnancy as I had gained too much weight before I even got pregnant.

A timeline:

January 2007 – not working, not dating anyone, spending 2 hours a day at the gym, as a result I was at my thinnest weight ever.

February 2007- meet my future husband and get a new job- days at the gym go by the wayside, but we are still running a lot so the weight is slow at creeping on.

November 2008- Get married 15 lbs heavier but still exercising and well with in the normal range for my height (5’10”, thank you very much).

April 2009- Ummm, we go on a cruise and thanks to the gluttony and laziness of married life I am 20 lbs heavier than I was on my wedding day. Oh and guess what, you’re pregnant.

Summer 2009- 1^st trimester tiredness kicks my butt and exercise is a thing of the past- this will continue for the entire pregnancy.

January 2010- I enter the hospital at an astronomical weight and come home six days later at the same weight, despite having had a 9 lb baby removed from my body. I guess that’s what 5 days of IV’s do for you. A week later I had dropped 20 lbs and that is where we are today, despite exclusively breastfeeding.

Sooooo, instead of being a MILF, I am a fat, frumpy mom who is today wearing the largest pair of jeans I’ve ever owned. But the snow is clearing and Caroline and I are going for lots of walks. I’m trying to get some other exercise in when I can, though that is rare. AND..I am giving up cheese for a month. Yeah, cheese. I think based on my current diet that will save me about 6 million calories a week.

My husband has a high school reunion this summer. I need to be looking a lot hotter.