Full Disclosure on the Fat

m feeling brave today. Maybe I'm inspired by all the McFatty Monday posts. But anyway, I'm going to do something I have never, NEVER, done before. Not even when I was skinny done before. Not even to my husband (please don't let him ever find this). OK. Deep breaths. I can do this. I weigh...

::breathe::

::breathe::

234 pounds.

Oh My God!!!! I am officially obese. If that isn't bad enough, that means I gained 30 pounds of non-baby related weight during my pregnancy. I am horrified. What's even worse is that when I got married 17 months ago, I weighed 175 (I'm 5'10" so I can carry a little more). That is an average of 3 pounds a month that I gained. I am taking up way more than my fair share of space on this planet.

I've known how much I weighed for a while now. I mean all those weigh ins at the doc during pregnancy didn't convince me I was going to have a 45 lb baby. But it didn't really seem like "real" weight. It's water. It'll melt away with breastfeeding. Once you get moving a little bit, it'll start falling off. Well none of those things seem to be true. I've posted before about my lack of success with the breastfeeding weight loss plan.

I have to face facts and do what no woman wants to do...DIET! I can't go for my normal all or nothing method though as I am nursing and need to keep my milk supply, so I am trying to stick to a 2,000 calorie a day plan. Honestly, just being aware of the snacking I was doing to ease the pain of being away from my baby all day is helping. I know that what I really want isn't M&Ms and I let myself just miss her.

Exercise is hard. I don't have much time for it but I'm trying to take C on as many walks as I can and doing a little walk/running on the weekends. I plan to run in a half marathon in October. I'm not new to half-marathons or even whole marathons, before I got married to Mr. C I was in great shape. We got married, lazy and pregnant. The half is 6 months away, I'm not fooling myself into thinking I can be at my fighting weight by then. I am just hoping to be a my pre-pregnancy weight of 199. I'll be slow and in pain but it gives me something to shoot for. Now if I can just find an extra hour everyday to exercise.

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YaraC