I've been on a month long bender. Well, the bender was only two weeks long, while the two weeks before that were just not good. I wasn't staying within my points and eating enough that while I wasn't gaining I wasn't losing either. Then I went on vacation and all heck broke loose...foodwise anyway. I was in the South and at my Mom's. It was a losing battle so I just gave in and enjoyed every delicious Southern offering. Krystals? Yes! Fried Chicken? Yes! Biscuits and Gravy? Yes, oh Yes!!
So when it came time for yesterday's Weight Watcher's meeting I came very close to skipping it. I didn't want to face the reality of the scale. I hadn't been in several weeks and I was going to die if I went in there and weighed 5 pounds more than I did last time. As usual, the anticipation was worse than reality. I gained 1 pound. It doesn't sound so bad but the sum total for the last month is +1 pound. That's not really very good. I guess it could be worse though. This morning I was actually down a little from where I was last time I checked in.
I'm refocusing now. I cut my points limit since my baby is starting to eat more solid foods. I'm hoping that will give me a little kick start back into things. As usual, I'll be monitoring my milk production closely and upping the calories if it starts to drop.
Start: 234
Jumpstart Goal 10 lbs -224
Current -14 220
Just Fat (BMI < 30): 209
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Hit me with your best shot
So I got my hair cut and highlighted on Saturday, but I don't have any pictures of it looking all beautiful and salon perfect. Why? Because it never looked perfect. It never even looked finished.
When I made the appointment, my regular stylist wasn't available. I was desperate and the time of the appointment was crucial as it had to be when Scott was available to do baby care.So I took who was available and figured that since it is a nice salon, anybody could only improve on the current state of my hair. So imagine my surprise when I hear the stylist call my name and I look up to see a woman straight out of the eighties, complete with a perm and mini-bangs. Oh God, oh God, oh God. What could I do? My southern politeness didn't allow me to do anything but get up and follow her.
We had the standard talk about what I wanted and she began the highlighting process. Now I'm not great at small talk but I do OK when the person I'm talking to is more of a talker. Unfortunately, this girl seemed to have a similar style to me so after a few awkward attempts at conversation we settled into an awkward silence. Honestly, I just didn't have the energy to make a big effort and I secretly love to just sit there and listen to all the conversations around me.
Everything was a normal haircut, she didn't try to talk me into looking like either Anne Wilson or Pat Benatar. All was well until it came time to dry and style. She asked if I wanted it straight or curly and I said it didn't matter since it was humid out and I have a hair-grabbing 5 month old so I was just going to pull it back anyway. I then said that if she wanted to do it curly, I just didn't want a lot of product in it because I don't want it to look stiff and crunchy. Now I don't know if something got lost in translation or she took a personal offense to the "cruchy hair" comment or what but next thing I know, I'm being led to the counter, with head full of wet hair. I didn't even realize what was happening until the cashier told me the cost.
I decided that it was best just to go. If I insulted her, the last thing I wanted to do was let her near my hair again. I left a minimal tip and am left wondering if I need to find a new salon or not.
When I made the appointment, my regular stylist wasn't available. I was desperate and the time of the appointment was crucial as it had to be when Scott was available to do baby care.So I took who was available and figured that since it is a nice salon, anybody could only improve on the current state of my hair. So imagine my surprise when I hear the stylist call my name and I look up to see a woman straight out of the eighties, complete with a perm and mini-bangs. Oh God, oh God, oh God. What could I do? My southern politeness didn't allow me to do anything but get up and follow her.
We had the standard talk about what I wanted and she began the highlighting process. Now I'm not great at small talk but I do OK when the person I'm talking to is more of a talker. Unfortunately, this girl seemed to have a similar style to me so after a few awkward attempts at conversation we settled into an awkward silence. Honestly, I just didn't have the energy to make a big effort and I secretly love to just sit there and listen to all the conversations around me.
Everything was a normal haircut, she didn't try to talk me into looking like either Anne Wilson or Pat Benatar. All was well until it came time to dry and style. She asked if I wanted it straight or curly and I said it didn't matter since it was humid out and I have a hair-grabbing 5 month old so I was just going to pull it back anyway. I then said that if she wanted to do it curly, I just didn't want a lot of product in it because I don't want it to look stiff and crunchy. Now I don't know if something got lost in translation or she took a personal offense to the "cruchy hair" comment or what but next thing I know, I'm being led to the counter, with head full of wet hair. I didn't even realize what was happening until the cashier told me the cost.
I decided that it was best just to go. If I insulted her, the last thing I wanted to do was let her near my hair again. I left a minimal tip and am left wondering if I need to find a new salon or not.
Friday, June 18, 2010
Ho Hum
I'm in a bit of a diet slump. It's not a plateau or anything like that. I'm still losing as long as I stick to the plan. It's just boredom and getting tired of the deprivation. I've been following the Weight Watchers plan for 6 weeks now and it is working well. I've lost almost 14 pounds, I'm just missing good food. I'm missing filling full. I'm missing being spontaneous about eating. Also, despite being 14 lbs down, there is no appreciable difference in my body. I'm nowhere near fitting into my pre-pregnancy clothes. That's at least 15 pounds away. There is no chance of looking decent this summer. I keep slipping. Just a little, a point here, 2 points there but it is enough and will eventually have an effect on my weight loss.
I need to refocus and push hard for the next 2 weeks and then take a mini-diet break while we vacation in the Motherland (Mom's house in Tennessee). I know, I know, I should try to stick with the plan while vacationing but quite frankly I don't want to. I want to enjoy my vacation and good food is part of that enjoyment. Hopefully upon returning, I can rekindle some motivation.
HAIRCUT TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need to refocus and push hard for the next 2 weeks and then take a mini-diet break while we vacation in the Motherland (Mom's house in Tennessee). I know, I know, I should try to stick with the plan while vacationing but quite frankly I don't want to. I want to enjoy my vacation and good food is part of that enjoyment. Hopefully upon returning, I can rekindle some motivation.
HAIRCUT TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Fat Tuesday on Thursday
Quickly
Start: 234
Jumpstart Goal 10 lbs -224
Current -13.8 220.2
Just Fat: 209
Big news. I have an appointment to get my haircut and highlighted on Saturday. In the past that wouldn't have even rated a mention, bu tnow it is a major event.
Start: 234
Jumpstart Goal 10 lbs -224
Current -13.8 220.2
Just Fat: 209
Big news. I have an appointment to get my haircut and highlighted on Saturday. In the past that wouldn't have even rated a mention, bu tnow it is a major event.
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Fat Tuesday. Wednesday Edition.
OK, so I think we can all (and by all I mean my 2 readers) agree that I suck at this blog thing. I just rarely find myself with free time and free hands at home and feel too guilty to write at work. But enough about the things wrong with me, I'm ready to talk about my awesomeness. I have lost 11.4 lbs so far (according to my scale, WW has me at 10.2 but they weigh me with clothes on. I tried to get naked for the weigh ins but....). It has been hard and it hasn't. Hard in the sense that I have to think about everything I eat and have to practice self-control (no more M&Ms!) but easy in that when you weigh 200+ lbs, weight melts off pretty easily when you watch your intake. The first 10 are pretty easy, the last 10 are pretty impossible. I know from my past skinny days, when I thought if I could just lose 5 more or 10 more, then I would be perfect. Now I think I would be satisfied at 170 but I kow that when (if) I get there, I will just be seeing a fat girl in the mirror.
Which brings me to this picture.
It's a horrible picture. I had no makeup on and took it with a self-timer 3or 4 years ago. I didn't bother to try to look decent in it because I never planned for anyone to see it. I took the picture for one reason; to scrutinize for all of my body flaws. I would stare at it for hours, berating my stomach flab, my thunder thighs and my grandma arms. Yep, that's what I saw when I looked at this picture. I was so confused. I knew that my BMI was about 21 and I wore a size 6 at that time and yet I couldn't figure out why I looked so fat. Do you think I've had some body issues? I know now that I tend to suffer from some body dysmorphic syndrome, not to an extreme but to the point that I don't always see reality in the mirror.
How do I prevent passing that on to my daughter? Is it possible to raise a daughter not to have body issue? What if we become Amish and shun all media?
Anyway, here is my current progress report.
Start: 234
Jumpstart Goal 10 lbs -224
Current -11.4 222.6
Just Fat: 209
Goal 1 has been achieved. Next up is getting my BMI below 30 and no longer being obese. I still can't believe I let myself get to be obese (why? why?) 13.6 lbs to meet that goal. I'm hoping to get there by the end of summer.
Cruel, cruel summer, I'm fat and can't avoid a bathing suit this year because I have to be able to take my daughter swimming. This is one of the greatest sacrifices I am making for my child. I will alert everyone before appearing on the beach so you can avert your eyes lest you be blinded by the vast, reflective white expanse that is my thigh. You've been warned.
No real visible changes in the body yet. 10lbs on a 5'10" doesn't really show up.
Which brings me to this picture.
It's a horrible picture. I had no makeup on and took it with a self-timer 3or 4 years ago. I didn't bother to try to look decent in it because I never planned for anyone to see it. I took the picture for one reason; to scrutinize for all of my body flaws. I would stare at it for hours, berating my stomach flab, my thunder thighs and my grandma arms. Yep, that's what I saw when I looked at this picture. I was so confused. I knew that my BMI was about 21 and I wore a size 6 at that time and yet I couldn't figure out why I looked so fat. Do you think I've had some body issues? I know now that I tend to suffer from some body dysmorphic syndrome, not to an extreme but to the point that I don't always see reality in the mirror.
How do I prevent passing that on to my daughter? Is it possible to raise a daughter not to have body issue? What if we become Amish and shun all media?
Anyway, here is my current progress report.
Start: 234
Jumpstart Goal 10 lbs -224
Current -11.4 222.6
Just Fat: 209
Goal 1 has been achieved. Next up is getting my BMI below 30 and no longer being obese. I still can't believe I let myself get to be obese (why? why?) 13.6 lbs to meet that goal. I'm hoping to get there by the end of summer.
Cruel, cruel summer, I'm fat and can't avoid a bathing suit this year because I have to be able to take my daughter swimming. This is one of the greatest sacrifices I am making for my child. I will alert everyone before appearing on the beach so you can avert your eyes lest you be blinded by the vast, reflective white expanse that is my thigh. You've been warned.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Fat Tuesday
OK, I know I have been MIA for the last couple of weeks. It seems I never have two hands free to type when I am at home. I haven't forgotten about my mission though.
I decided to join Weight Watchers to help me with the weight loss. They have meeting right in my building at work so it is convenient and doesn't cause me to take time away from my baby girl. I don't really need them to teach me how to eat or teach me anything about nutrition. This isn't my first time around the weight loss block and I've read and studied everything there is to know about it. It does, however, provide me with some accountability and structure. Both are good things for me, especially right now when life is chaotic and it's easy to lose focus.
I've found that counting points is much more enjoyable than counting calories. I can't say what the difference is though.
A quick summary of my WW journey so far.
Initial weigh-in 4/26 233.6 lbs
Week 1 5/3 230.6
Week 2 5/10 227.8 (got a 5lb star)
Week 3 5/17 227.8
So it's 2 steps forward and 1 step back. I'm determined though. It won't be a quick fix, but I need to do it for me and my daughter. I hope she never struggles with her weight. It really sucks.
I decided to join Weight Watchers to help me with the weight loss. They have meeting right in my building at work so it is convenient and doesn't cause me to take time away from my baby girl. I don't really need them to teach me how to eat or teach me anything about nutrition. This isn't my first time around the weight loss block and I've read and studied everything there is to know about it. It does, however, provide me with some accountability and structure. Both are good things for me, especially right now when life is chaotic and it's easy to lose focus.
I've found that counting points is much more enjoyable than counting calories. I can't say what the difference is though.
A quick summary of my WW journey so far.
Initial weigh-in 4/26 233.6 lbs
Week 1 5/3 230.6
Week 2 5/10 227.8 (got a 5lb star)
Week 3 5/17 227.8
So it's 2 steps forward and 1 step back. I'm determined though. It won't be a quick fix, but I need to do it for me and my daughter. I hope she never struggles with her weight. It really sucks.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
First Noms
YouTube - Caroline first solids
Not terribly thrilling as she was pretty matter of fact the whole food from a spoon thing. Yet, I can't stop watching it over and over because she is so cute. I can't decide if watching videos of her during the day while I'm at work makes things easier or harder. Everytime I see those cheeks, I'm overcome with a desire to kiss them.
Not terribly thrilling as she was pretty matter of fact the whole food from a spoon thing. Yet, I can't stop watching it over and over because she is so cute. I can't decide if watching videos of her during the day while I'm at work makes things easier or harder. Everytime I see those cheeks, I'm overcome with a desire to kiss them.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)