Wednesday, November 10, 2010

One woman's joy is another woman's heartbreak.

About two years ago, when the hubs and I first started to try to conceive (TTC), I started frequenting the message boards. I stumbled onto a sub-group of 30-something women within a larger general TTC board. The nature of TTC boards is transient. Some come in, get pregnant right away and move on. Others take a little longer. Then there are the board veterans. These are the women who live with the heartbreak of infertility. They watch women month after month get knocked up and move on while they once again cry at the arrival of their period (I refuse to use the term Aunt Flo outside of the message boards. I really hate that term.). This group of "older" women had a mix of all the stages of TTC.

Over the course of the next year, the group remained and we all became great friends. True, we had never met in real life but we were definitely friends. We talked to each other about all aspects of our lives, including but not limited to, baby-making. During that time many of the women became pregnant, others did not, others suffered the disappointment of miscarriages. I was one of the lucky ones. Despite the different paths we were all going on, our friendship remained.We eventually took our friendship off the message boards and on to Facebook, so that there would no longer be an aspect of our lives left outside of The Book. While we talk mostly about the rest of our lives, we do still talk about TTC especially with those that are still trying. Because the women have become such good friends, my heart hurts with every failed IVF attempt and every IUI that one can't afford. I would give anything for them to have a child, I know how great it is. I hurt every time they discuss a sister of cousin who is pregnant or the pain of having to sit through a baby shower or any of the other ways that life slaps you around when you are infertile. I would do anything to prevent that pain for them

So how will I tell them that I'm pregnant again?

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